If All Was Lost
by eliswinchester
Summary: Set at the end of The Mortal Instruments: City of Fallen Angels, this story is one that I imagine would play out if Lilith had killed Clary. Warning: Major character death. Cover photo: taken from Quotesgram quote about Jace and Clary.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay guys, what's up! This is my firstever FanFiction, so please don't judge too harshly! So my fanfic is set at the end of The Mortal Instruments: City Of Fallen Angels, where Lilith tried to use Clary to make Simon revive Sebastian all the while Jace was under Lilith's control. I will start this story by posting some parts of the book to freshen your memories.** **Disclaimer: TMI belongs entirely to the wonderful and awesome author Cassandra Clare.**

 _"Clary. She was so pale that she looked almost blue, though perhaps that was the cold. Her green eyes were vast in her pale face. A trickle of drying blood spilled from her collarbone to the neckline of her dress, now spotted with red. Her hands hung at her sides, loose, but they were shaking. [...] As he stared at her, she shook her head, very slightly. He knew what she was saying. Don't do it. Don't give her what she wants. Let whatever happens to me happen. [...] Gasping, Clary ran for the fallen seraph blade, but never reached it. Lilith caught Clary up in two thin, icy hands and threw her with incredible force. Clary hurtled into a low hedge, the branches slashing viciously at her skin, opening up long cuts. She struggled to free herself, her dress tangled in the foliage. She heard the silk rip as she tore free and turned to see Lilith drag Jace to his feet, her hand fastened in the bloody front of his shirt. [...]_

 _"You forget," said Lilith. "I was there, Shadowhunter. I watched you fall and die. I watched Valentine weep over your body. And then I watched as the Angel asked Clarissa what she desired of him, what she wanted in the world more than she wanted anything else, and she said you. Thinking you could be the only people in the world who could have their dead loved one back, and that there would be no consequences. That is what you thought, isn't it, both of you? Fools." Lilith spat. "You love each other-anyone can see that, looking at you-that kind of love that can burn down the world or raise it up in glory. No, she would never leave your side. Not while she thought you were in danger." Her head jerked back, her hand shooting out, fingers curved into claws. "There."_

 _There was a scream, and one of the hedges seemed to tear apart, revealing Clary, who had been crouched, hiding, in the middle of it. Kicking and clawing, she was dragged forward, her fingernails scraping the ground, seizing in vain for a purchase on something that she could grip. Her hands left bloody trails on the tiles._

 _"No!" Jace started forward, then froze as Clary was whipped up into the air, where she hovered, dangling in front of Lilith. She was barefoot, her satin dress-now so torn and filthy it looked red and black rather than gold-swirling around her, one of her shoulder straps torn and dangling. Her hair had come completely out of its sparkling combs and spilled down over her shoulders. Her green eyes fixed on Lilith with hatred._

 _"You bitch," she said._

 _Jace's face was a mask of horror. He really had believed it when he'd said Clary was gone, Simon realized. He'd thought she was safe. But Lilith had been right. And she was gloating now, her snake's eyes dancing as she moved her hands like a puppeteer, and Clary spun and gasped in the air. Lilith flicked her fingers, and what looked like the lash of a silver whip came down across Clary's body, slicing her dress open, and the skin under it. She screamed and clutched at the wound, and her blood pattered down on the tiles like scarlet rain._

 _[...] She flicked her fingers again, and the silver whip came down, slashing across Clary's shoulder this time, opening up a wide gash. Clary buckled but didn't scream, jamming her hands into her mouth, curling in on herself as if she could protect herself from Lilith."_

But Clary knew better. There was only so little she could do. Lilith had set this whole scheme up, and blindly, Clary had fallen into the trap. And as she closed her eyes, expecting another blow, she let herself think, letting the pain she felt blow off  
/as if it was being felt by another person.

How could she not have seen this coming? Perhaps not exactly, but there were signs that she had so ignorantly let go and dismissed.

Jace, the person she had fallen hard for and had spent so much time willing to be his and him to be hers all to herself, someone to love and to be in love with, someone to teach that no, love didn't destroy, that it was the most powerful thing that could  
/possibly exist, the blinding love that makes you weak in the knees, he had changed but her blinding love for him made her nearly ignorant of the trap he had fallen into. Her guilt was overwhelming, and perhaps it was even more painful than the physical  
/pain she had felt, that she was feeling right now. And, oh Simon, he was never meant to be here, never meant to be a vampire. As she had been introduced to the Shadow World, she had unknowingly dragged him along with her.

All of this she felt and thought about as another blow struck right above her heart, and she opened her eyes once more, stifling her screams of agony by biting down on her already badly bruised hand. Lilith was looking up at her, amusement glinting in  
/her eyes, combined with an allure of purposefulness.

The demoness' plan to raise Sebastian back was one that would be comparable to raising hell. Just as his father had been, her demon brother was a maniac. But try as she might, she couldn't really blame him. His blood had been infected and diseased, his  
/humanity had been burned by the demon blood coursing through his veins, weighing him down in a way he would never understand.

Clary didn't know how she was still alive. The pain she was feeling, it was unimaginable. With great effort she curled up and brought her knees to her chest, and risked glancing back at Jace. His face was drained of all colour, his eyes wide and full  
/of terror, he looked as if his world was falling apart. He looked torn apart, and seemed to feel what Clary was feeling, but a hundred times worst. She felt a strong burning sensation making it's way down her chest and looked down. As soon as shedid,  
/Clary shuddered and let out a choked gasp. So this was the end of her, she thought, as a thick stream of blood coming from the spike of Lilith's whip that was sticking right an inch below her heart.

 **Jeese I didn't mean for the first chapter to be so short. Or was it okay? I don't really know, since it's my first for that. And jeese it was intense. A little to much? Let me know what you think by reviewing this! Thank you, an update is planned to come rather very soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! As promised, here's chapter 2! I was supposed to post it earlier, but as I was finishing it, it started glitching and I ended having to rewrite the whole thing. Anyways, thank you for the review, the follows and the favourite! It really means a lot 3 Just like chapter 1, I posted parts of TMI: City of Fallen Angels so as to refreshen your memories and to make the chapter more interesting. They will be written in italic to show that they are from the book. Disclaimer: TMI belongs to the amazing author Cassandra Clare**

 _"Jace started forward to throw himself at Lilith-and saw Simon. Their gazes met. For a moment the world seemed to hang in suspension, all of it, not just Clary. Simon saw Lilith, all her attention focused on Clary, her hand drawn back, ready to deliver an even more vicious blow. Jace's face was white with anguish, his eyes darkening as they met Simon's-and he realized-and understood._

 _Jace stepped back._

 _The world blurred around Simon. As he leaped forward, he realized two things. One, that it was impossible, he would never reach Lilith in time; her hand was already whipping forward, the air in front of her alive with whirling silver. And two, that he had never understood before quite how fast a vampire could move. He felt the muscles in his legs, his back, tear, the bones in his feet and ankles crack-_

 _And he was there, sliding between Lilith and Clary as the demoness's hand came down._

 _[...] Lilith froze. She stared from Simon, to Clary, still hanging in the air, and then down at her own hand, now empty. She drew in a long, ragged breath. "Sevenfold," she whispered-and was abruptly cut off as a blinding incandescence lit up the night. [...] And then she was gone._

 _[...] She was lying on the hard tiles of the rooftop garden, one of the paving stones digging into her back. She had fallen to the ground when Lilith vanished, and was covered in cuts and bruises, her shoes were gone, her knees were bleeding, and her dress was slashed where Lilith had cut her with the magical whip, blood welling through the rents in her silk dress._

 _Simon was kneeling over her, his face anxious. The Mark of Cain still gleamed whitely on his forehead. "Her pulse is steady," he was saying, "but come on. You're supposed to have all those healing runes. There must be something you can do for her-"_

 _"Not without a stele. Lilith made me throw Clary's away so she couldn't grab it from me when she woke up." The voice was Jace's, low and tense with suppressed anguish. He knelt across from Simon, on her other side, his face in shadow."_

Clary opened her eyes, and tried to ignore the burning feeling just below her heart, where Lilith had whipped her and a spike had pierced down her. Though it had been removed, it felt as if the piece of metal was still there. She shuddered, feeling as if she just plunged into freezing water. She closed her eyes again, hoping to wake up from this terrible nightmare. Had Jace really been under Lilith's control? How had she not realized something was off? Lilith had actually used her to make two of the closest people to her do things for the sake of her survival. She herself had set up a chain of terrible events that had happened right under her nose.

Guilt overwhelmed her and she opened back her eyes. Hovering above her was a very worried-looking Simon. She propped herself on her elbows silently and looked for Jace. She felt his gaze on her, and when she saw him, he quickly turned away but not before she saw his look of self-loathing and anguish flashing in his eyes.

She felt the back of her eyes sting, and so she decided to speak. "Sebastian," she said nervously, "what happened with him?"

"I didn't revive him, the ceremony was never completed." Simon replied softly. "Though our main concern should be you, Clary" he added, glancing back at Jace. "Will you be able to get up?" he asked her, lines creasing his forehead, the Mark of Cain  
style="font-family: '.SFUIText-Italic'; font-style: italic; font-size: 17pt;"blazing like a white star above his eyes. Clary opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, however, Jace turned back. "No. Simon, you'll carry her. I have to alert the others." he said sharply, not looking at Clary. "I can get up just-" Clary said, before being interrupted by a fit of coughing. She put her hand up to cover it, and it came away red. The area of her chest punctured by Lilith's whip's spike was burning more than ever, and she longed for her stele. "Simon," Jace said, eyes wide. "Carry her up, now. We must get help," he ordered and rushed off. Doing as told, Simon lifted her into his arms as if she weighed nothing. She had forgotten how much he had grown stronger when he had Turned. Simon shot her a concerned glanced, before following Jace.

As they walked into the church and down the stairs, each step making the burning and the pain she felt worse, Clary closed her eyes. Approaching the last step, she unwillingly let out a cry of pain. She closed her mouth immediately, and bit down on her lower lip. Shadowhunters did not cry out in pain, she reminded herself. Praying that none of the boys heard her, she opened her eyes. Simon, being a vampire and having it's ultra-sensitive hearing, had heard Clary and had stopped walking. "Jace," he said alarmingly, "We need to lay her down." he added. Doing as he said, Jace had come forward to look more closely at Clary's wound on her chest. Eyes widening, she saw him pull Simon to a side and whisper inaudibly. Simon then took off without another word.

As Simon ran down the halls of the Talto Church, he bumped into people he was not expecting to see. "SIMON?" Isabelle Lightwood yelled. Simon stared at her, in total shock. She was the last person he expected to see here. The dress she wore at the party was now torn in several places, her hair a bit messy. She had several cuts on her arms, but seemed otherwise okay. Alec Lightwood was standing right behind her. The jacket he wore was dirtied and one of it sleeves cut open. "Izzy, I thought you were supposed to be at the wedding!" he exclaimed, baffled and confused. "Well, so were you! We found that card in your wallet about this place so came here to look for you" she said, her voice uneven. "You went looking for me?" Simon asked incredulously. "Of course we did, Simon. You're part of the team, we weren't going to ignore your absence." she said, her eyes shining with tears, her cheeks flushed. Without another word, she pulled him close and hugged him tightly, her hand gently ruffling his hair. She heard Alec cough loudly, but ignored it. Simon held her for a moment, than broke off quickly, realization in his eyes.

"Izzy," he spoke quickly, "Have you got a stele on you?" he added urgently. "What for?" she asked, confused by the directness of his question. "Simon, what's wrong?" she asked. "What's going on? What's happened?" Alec added, scowling. "It's Clary," he replied gravely, and told them to follow him. "Simon, stop." Isabelle said. "First you've got to explain what the hell is going on." she added sharply. "I will explain, Izzy. I promise. But right now we've got to go. Now." he replied, his eyes pleading with her.

And soon enough, Isabelle, Alec and himself had arrived to where Jace and Clary were. Simon and the others froze at the sight of what they saw. Clary was lying on Jace's lap, her eyes halfway closed. The wound below her heart was soaked with blood. Jace was holding on to her, but he hadn't dared to look at her directly in the eyes. He was pressing down his jacket on her wound, hoping to stop the bleeding, but the material was getting more and more bloody. His hands were shaking, and when he looked at Simon, with Isabelle and Alec at his side, his eyes were shining and wide.

 _""Jace?" It was Alec, his tone commanding. He had given Clary [...] an astonished look, but then his attention went, as it always did, to Jace. He might not be in love with Jace anymore, if he ever really had been, but they were still parabatai, and Jace was always first on his mind in any battle. "What are you doing here? And for the Angel's sake, what happened to you?"_

 _Jace stared at Alec, almost as if he didn't know him. He looked like someone in a nightmare, examining a new landscape not because it was surprising or dramatic but to prepare himself for whatever horrors it might reveal. "Stele," he said finally, in a cracking voice. "Do_  
style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;" _you have your stele?"_

 _Alec reached for his belt, looking baffled. "Of course." He held the stele out to Jace. "If you need an iratze-"_

 _"Not for me," Jace said, still in the same odd, cracked voice. "Her." He pointed at Clary. "She needs it more than I do." His eyes met Alec's, gold and blue. "Please, Alec," he said, the harshness gone from his voice as suddenly as it had come."_

Jace took the stele that his parabatai handed him, and rushed to draw an iratze on Clary. He drew one on her neck, the others left to watch. Simon had watched nervously, but it seemed that he was the only one to realize that Clary's chest no longer lifted with each of her breaths. Simon gasped, and let himself crouch on the side opposite Jace, and took Clary's arm. He held two fingers on her lower arm to check her pulse. His ears started buzzing loudly, darkness surrounding the edges of his vision. Isabelle and Alec, finally understanding what was happening, came to crouch next to Clary.

Isabelle took a stele of her own and drew rapidly an iratze on Clary's upper arm. Clary's eyes fluttered open, and she looked at Jace, her eyes wide. She gripped his hand tightly, as if she were holding on to her own life. They seemed to be communicating without really speaking. "I'm sorry" was the last thing Clary said, before her whole body went limp.

 **So that's all for chapter 2! Stay tuned for more, and thank you for reading. Reviews are welcome, and I hope you guys liked it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! I wanna thank you for the reviews, the follows and the favourite! Thank you, it really means a lot! Here chapter 3! As in previous chapters, passages from TMI: City of Fallen Angels will be in italic. Disclaimer: TMI belongs to the pure genius and wonderfully amazing author Cassandra Clare.**

Previously in Chapter 2

Clary's eyes fluttered open, and she looked at Jace, her eyes wide. She gripped his hand tightly, as if she were holding on to her own life. They seemed to be communicating without really speaking. "I'm sorry" was the last thing Clary said, before her  
whole body went limp.

"No, no, no, no, no" Simon said, as he shook Clary lightly by the shoulders. She couldn't be... No. The iratzes, they would heal her. She had lost her consciousness, that was all. Jace was shaking his head violently, his breath hitching. Alec and Isabelle  
were frozen at their spots, eyes wide. Why they were reacting like that, he didn't even want to begin to understand.

He was looking at Clary now, but he was also looking at her, when he used to walk with her to school. When she wore barrettes in her hair and she would straighten his glasses. When they were hanging upside down a great big tree at Luke's farm upstate.  
When they were laughing at Java Jones, listening to Eric's lousy poetry. When he had finally plucked the courage to tell her how he felt about her, and... she had looked away, noticing someone and had left him there.

Simon shook off of his reverie, and looked at Clary. His vision was a big blur, and his cheeks felt wet. He had been crying. He felt a growing sense of apprehension, like a flower opening in his chest. He placed his two fingers on Clary's lower arm, his  
own arm shaking, and checked her pulse.

Jace looked at Clary, his heart breaking each second her chest didn't lift do breathe in air. He couldn't stand it, couldn't possibly accept it. His Clary, she wasn't... no. There had to be something, the iratzes, they would heal her. But his years of  
training and killing demons told him otherwise. Nobody could lose so much blood and live.

He held on to her, not caring about anything else. He held on to her, like he never ever had held more to anything in his entire life. He rested his chin on her head, his strong arms keeping her tightly close to him. She felt cold, and was unmoving. Jace  
let out a cry he couldn't hold back, and soon enough he felt the tears streaming down his cheeks. It was the first time in his life, since he was 12, that he ever cried. The tears that came were silent.

 _I have lost everything. Lost everything*._

His heart ached, his head throbbed. He ran his fingers, long and those of a pianist, through her hair. His biggest and most terrible fear had come to realization. He had lost her. Sobbing harder than ever, Jace closed his eyes. "I'm sorry" were her last  
words. She had spoken to him, though, when he had sent Simon to search for a first aid kit.

Clary had been lying on the ground, with her eyes halfway closed. Jace had eyed her with concern and anguish, pressing down on her wound with his jacket to stop the bleeding. She had not even winced. Clary had held up her hand to touch one of his golden  
curls, and had locked eyes with him. The look she gave him was a look of absolute love, and sorrow. Jace had turned away, unable to stand it. He had been the cause of this, and the guilt he felt was terrible. Clary had then turned his head gently  
back towards her.

 _""Jace," she said. "Those things you did-that wasn't you." [...]_

 _"If it wasn't me," he said, "then why can I remember everything I did? When people are possessed, and they come back from it, they don't remember what they did when the demon inhabited them. But I remember everything." [...]_

 _"You remember because she wanted you to remember," Clary said, [...] "She did this to torture you [...] She wanted you to have to watch yourself hurt the people you love."_

 _"I was watching," he said in a low voice. "It was as if some part of me was off at a distance, watching and screaming at myself to stop. But the rest of me felt completely peaceful and like what I was doing was right. Like it was the only thing I could do. I wonder if that's how Valentine felt about everything he did. Like it was so easy to be right." He looked away from her._

"Please, Jace" Clary said, her eyes pleading with him. "Stop blaming yourself, it does not do good to any of us."

 _"[...] I love you, Jace Wayland-Herondale-Lightwood-whatever you want to call yourself. I don't care. I love you and I will always love you, and pretending it could be any other way is just a waste of time."_

 _A look of such pain crossed his face that Clary felt her heart tighten. Then he reached out and took her face between his hands. His palms were warm against her cheeks._

 _"Remember when I told you," he said, his voice as soft as she had ever heard it, "that I didn't know if there was a God or not, but either way, we were completely on our own? I still don't know the answer; I only knew that there was such a thing as faith, and that I didn't deserve to have it. And then there was you. You changed everything I believed in. [...] "You came into my life and suddenly I had one truth to hold on to-that I loved you, and you loved me." [...]_

 _"Jace. Through everything that happened tonight, I knew one thing. That it wasn't you hurting me. It wasn't you doing these things. I have an absolute incontrovertible belief that you are good. And that will never change."_

 _Jace took a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't even know how to try to deserve that."_

 _"You don't have to. I have enough faith in you," she said, "for both of us."_

Clary had then closed her eyes halfway and was holding onto Jace's hand. That's when Simon and the others came.

Opening his eyes, Jace realized that there was a mass of Shadowhunters in the room. They were watching and some had their heads bent down. He hadn't noticed them coming in.

Simon watched as the Shadowhunters poured into the room. He looked at Jace, who was still holding on to Clary with his eyes closed. He didn't seem to notice the people coming in.

Simon stood up, so did Izzy and Alec. Isabelle's eyes were red and puffy. Alec looked shocked and lost. His eyes were shining with tears. Simon himself felt lost. He just couldn't register the facts of what had happened. Clary, his best friend since they  
were little, she couldn't be dead. She couldn't.

 _"The doors burst open again and Jocelyn came flying in, still wearing her blue dress from the party. Luke was only a few steps behind her."_

 _"Simon!" she cried as soon as she caught sight of him. She ran over to him, and to his surprise she hugged him fiercely before letting him go. "Simon, where's Clary? Is she-"_

Jocelyn then noticed two people on the floor. One had red hair and was wearing a beautiful gold satin dress now so torn and dirty, and was covered in blood. The other had golden blonde hair and was crouching next to the girl, tears running down his cheeks.

 **Well that's it for Chapter 3, but I have much more for today so I will be updating very soon!**

 ***it's from The Infernal Devices, it's when Will Herondale found Tessa when she faked her own stabbing to evade Mortmain. It just seemed to fit the situation so well... I just finished reading the series and I can't even begin to say how much the story moved me. I love it so much.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Hope you're doing okay, and thank you very much for the reviews (I appreciate them!), the follows and the favourites! I wasn't expecting so much! So here's chapter 4, hope you'll enjoy! I'm sorry for not having updated sooner, for I have been busy. I have re-read The Mortal Instruments series, and read Lady Midnight (I lived it so much! Can't wait for Lord Of Shadows!) and by doing so got a pretty awesome idea. It will make more sense once this fanfic is more developed. Thank you, and hope you'll like it!**

Previously in Chapter 3

Jocelyn then noticed two people on the floor. One had red hair and was wearing a beautiful gold satin dress now so torn and dirty, and was covered in blood. The other had golden blonde hair and was crouching next to the girl, tears running down his cheeks.

"Clary, my baby" she said, her voice uneven. "What happened?" she asked, whirling around to face the others. Isabelle and Alec looked at her with terrible sadness, and Izzy's lower lip was trembling. Both the Lightwoods were kneeling on the floor, just a feet away from Clary. Alec was gripping Izzy's hand, and Isabelle was staring at Clary with an almost fierce look, as if to say "wake up". Jocelyn approached Simon, who looked like a poor lost boy, standing away and looking terrified, and asked him again, "Simon, what happened?" she asked him, her voice shaking. Simon didn't appear to have heard her.

Jace, having noticed Jocelyn coming in, glanced at her once with those shining golden eyes, a look of absolute and unguarded anguish on his face. His eyes went back to Clary, and he whispered something to her while clutching her hand very tightly.

"Ave atque vale, mei dilectissimi"

Jace whispered softly. "Hail and farewell, Clary-" he added, his voice cracking. Not able to stand it much longer, Jace stumbled out of church, ignoring his friends' calls.

Jocelyn had observed the scene, but her mind was only on one single thing: her baby. She rushed towards Clary, and let herself fall to the ground, her knees landing painfully on the hard floor. Jocelyn herself didn't feel anything, her mind was processing the facts extremely slowly. "Ave atque vale, mei dilectissimi"... "Hail and farewell, my dear"... Those were the words spoken to the lost of the battle, those who had left this world and those were the words of a Shadowhunter's farewell. But her baby, her baby Clary, she couldn't be dead. No. Slowly, Jocelyn took her daughter's hand and with her other arm settled Clary on her lap. Tears were rolling down Jocelyn cheeks as she closed her eyes.

At first, Clary was only aware of the pain, no, the absence of pain. She opened her eyes with a gasp. She lifted herself into a sitting position, looking at the surroundings. At first, with a jolt, she recognized the field of the Fairchild manor in Idris. However, the manor itself was not a hollowed empty space, but a solid actual house. The weather was peaceful, as if it were springtime. She looked up at the clouds, and her first thought was that they seemed like an angel's wings.

Shaking her head, she got up. A boy was walking towards her, and he seemed to be glowing. Clary couldn't recognize him from the distance, so for one wild moment she thought it was Jace. As he approached, Clary saw that the boy was tall, slender and had brilliant white hair. It was Sebastian. Unwillingly, she took a step back as he came near her. As she looked at him more clearly, she gaped at him.

The boy had green eyes, very like her own and her mother's. "Seb-Jonathan?" she said, shocked. "Clary, my sister. I see you are as shocked as I expected you to be. Understand that I'm only the idea of Jonathan, before our father infected my blood with the one of demonic nature." he said, his voice gentle and soft.

"Where am I?" Clary asked, glancing at the manor. "Why am I here?" she added, looking back at him. He really looked different, his mouth more relaxed, his angles less sharp, his eyes more gentle. "My dear sister, you are at the crossroads. As to why you're here, you already know." he replied, his expression serious. He didn't look anything like the murderer his poisoned self was. "I must go now, for you have something important to do." he added.

Clary didn't know why she did what she did next, but she did it all the same. She took a step forward and hugged Jonathan tightly. He was the brother she always wanted, the boy his mother cried over every year. She ruffled his hair and stepped back. He looked at her, his eyes gentle and warm and shining. "I must go now, my dear sister. I do hope it will be very far from soon that I will see you here again." he said to her, before taking out something from his pocket. He was wearing pale grey jeans, and a plain white t-shirt. When his hand came out of his pocket, Clary noticed that he was holding a stele. "I shall mark you, and you will see what you must. I cannot explain, you will understand once you touch the rune." he said softly.

The next moments passed in a flash: Jonathan marking a rune on her arm, Jonathan telling her that she must touch it once he is gone, Jonathan leaving. Doing as she was told, Clary touched the rune. It was a rune like no other, one that spoke of vision and balance, strength and life. It was elegantly drawn, full of swirling lines that shone like gold. The moment her finger touched the rune, her vision glowed brighter and brighter, until the only thing she saw was brightness. Suddenly, an angel appeared before her. She gasped as she realized who the angel was. Ithuriel, the angel Valentine had trapped in the Wayland manor. It started speaking to her, and Clary was reminded of Raziel. Ithuriel had the same musical voice. And he started speaking to her.

As soon as Jace got out of the cursed church, he broke down. On his knees, he cried like he never had before. Even when Valentine twisted his falcon's neck, he hadn't cried like this. Clary, Clary, Clary. His mind repeated her name over and over again. He was shaking violently, his grief overflowing. He remembered every moment he ever spent with Clary, and they came like flashes under his closed eyelids. Clary, coming into that storage room where the Eidolon demon was. Clary, walking straight into a hotel full of vampires to save her best friend. Clary, kneeling in Valentine's ship, drawing a single rune. Clary, kissing him, her hands in his hair. Clary, handing Ithuriel the blade. Clary, on the sand near lake Lyn. Clary, nearly stumbling on a broken speaker. Clary kissing him. Clary kissing him. Clary kissing him. Clary, getting whipped by Lilith. Clary, bruised and bloody. Clary, d-d-d...

Even his mind couldn't process the fact that se was gone. That's when he felt someone's hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. Jace opened his eyes and saw Alec.

Alec was looking at him with concern, but he seemed to be smiling. Jace was bewildered. Why on earth would his parabatai be glad that Clary was dead? "Jace," Alec said softly, helping him up. "Jace, come" he added. "No, leave me alone," Jace replied, his voice stiff with hurt and anger. "Jace, you don't understand. You have to come see this. It's Clary, Jace." Alec replied.


	5. Chapter 5

**Welcome back! Might I take this moment to thank each and every person who reviewed, favourited and followed this FanFiction. It really means a lot to me, and quite frankly, I wasn't expecting this much. I'm sorry for not having updated, I was very busy with school projects and Merlin marathons, though mainly the school work. I thank you for your patience. So before I post chapter 5, I just wanted to answer two questions that were asked in the reviews.**

 **So, Athens1399:**

 **Yeah! It's perfectly fine for the story of the mad girl, as long as I get to read it XD**

 **And AlesiaJ89:**

 **I would've had it that way, but no. I kept Jace bond to Sebastian, and changed the words so when Clary asked about Sebastian in chapter two, Simon replies that he didn't revive Sebastian because the ceremony wasn't completed. If I had changed that part, I would've needed to make up a new threat to keep the story interesting. Besides, the way it is really goes well with one particular snippet in Lord Of Shadows *grins mischievously***

 **I'm sorry to disappoint, but Clary must do what happens next so my idea actually works. But don't worry, everything will unravel and... I won't spoil.**

Previously in Chapter 4

Even his mind couldn't process the fact that se was gone. That's when he felt someone's hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. Jace opened his eyes and saw Alec.

Alec was looking at him with concern, but he seemed to be smiling. Jace was bewildered. Why on earth would his parabatai be glad that Clary was dead? "Jace," Alec said softly, helping him up. "Jace, come" he added. "No, leave me alone," Jace replied, his voice stiff with hurt and anger. "Jace, you don't understand. You have to come see this. It's Clary, Jace." Alec replied.

Simon watched in absolute amazement as Clary started breathing, very slowly, but still actually breathing. At first, he thought he was imagining it. He glanced at Alec and Isabelle, then at Jocelyn and Luke and registered all of their astonished faces. Slowly, Simon walked towards Clary, and kneeled beside her. He took one of her hands and held it tightly. He watched with great incredulity as the whip marks closed themselves, millimetre by millimetre. The iratzes seemed to be blazing like gold. He heard footsteps, and looked back to see Alec walking out.

Jocelyn's head was resting on Clary's, and she was cradling Clary like a small child. Relief crashed through Simon, waves and waves of joy and happiness. Now the tears rolling down his cheeks were those of happiness.

"My baby, my baby" Jocelyn kept whispering, her hand untangling her daughter's flaming red curls.

Jace came through the door, his head bowed down. Alec tapped his shoulder again and whispered in his ear. "It's Clary, Jace. Look closely." he said softly. At the sound of Clary's name, Jace flinched slightly. Clary was dead. The guilt he felt was crushing him. What would Alec want to show him? Reluctantly, Jace looked up and gaped at the scene before him. Clary, shallowly breathing. Simon, holding her hand and smiling while tears rolled down his cheeks. Jocelyn, holding onto Clary and whispering her name over and over again. Luke, eyes shining and a hand on Jocelyn's shoulder. The mass of Shadowhunters retreating, greatly puzzled.

"Mom, I've told you! I'm perfectly fine. I just wanna see Jace." Clary said stubbornly, for the third time. It's been a week since what happened at the Talto Church, though she didn't remember a lot. She remembered Lilith, whipping her. She remembered being laid unto the floor. She remembered dying, and the Fairchild mansion. She remembered the Angel Ithuriel speaking to her.

 _Flashback_

 _Ithuriel had the same musical voice. And he started speaking to her. "Clarissa Morgenstern. The rune your brother as laid upon your arm shall make you leave this realm, as you shall return to where you are needed. It will keep the balance of light and darkness, for your life is in my possession. No creature of demonic allegiance shall be able to influence your mind and heart. You shall remain where you are needed until the bloodlines of Herondale are assured. It is your destiny to remain and restore balance to the Shadowhunter world. Your father has given you a share of my blood, it shall be a curse and a great gift. I find it imperative that you return and speak of this to very little people. If news of this comes to the Dark, you shall be on great peril."_

 _Ithuriel spoke warmly, if it was possible for an angel._

 _Present_

Clary also remembered coming back. She remembered the pain of the whip marks increasing, which was contradictory to the healing of the wounds. She fainted not long after, only to wake up in a certain loft in Brooklyn. Magnus told her that Lilith's whip was infected with a certain type of demon poison. The healing runes would close her wounds but nothing, not even magic or the work of the Silent Brothers, could stop the pain. Only time would make it fade until it disappeared.

Jocelyn and Luke had stayed with Clary ever since, and Jace came often. Whenever her mom or Luke went away for a Clave meeting, and she was alone, Clary thought about what the angel told her and what it meant. Would she be alive for long? How was she supposed to stop Sebastian? How could she ever do it, knowing a different side of him, seeing him as the brother he always ought to be? How was she so important and the one destined to bring balance to the Shadow World? Why didn't anybody notice the golden rune on her arm? Couldn't they see it? Was she to ever tell anybody about it?

Clary yelled in frustration and jumped out of bed, wanting no more then her pencils and her sketchbook. She immediately regretted getting up though, because it caused an immense burning feeling all around her.

She yelled out again, in pain and anger. She was angry at Ithuriel for not telling her more, she was angry at herself for being weak and dying. She was angry she caused Simon pain, she was angry for not having seen something was wrong with Jace.

When she heard the slight knock on her door, she nearly jumped out of her skin. It couldn't be her parents, they were out for a meeting. Magnus said he'd be with Alec. Jace was at the Institute with Isabelle. Simon perhaps. She slowly walked towards the door, and opened it. It wasn't who she expected to come. Standing before her was a tall woman, with long and wavy dark brown hair. She had beautiful gray eyes. And she seemed familiar, though Clary didn't know who she was.

"Hello, Clarissa. Sorry to disturb, I just thought I'd stop by at Magnus' and I heard you yelling. I'm Tessa. Theresa Gray. " Clary flushed. "How do you know me? I feel like we've met before." she replied, her brows knitting in confusion.

Gray... Fray... Hadn't her mother told her that Fray was a sort of union of two names? Perhaps F for Fairchild and -ray for Gray...

"We have, though you were always to forget me. I was there when your mother came to Magnus and asked for his help to cloud your memories. Brother Jeremiah and I put the protective spells on you when you very young. It's nice to see that you have grown to be a very strong young adolescent." said Tessa warmly. Clary flushed even darker than her hair. "Thank you, um, miss Gray" she replied shyly. "Please, call me Tessa. Everyone does." Tessa replied, thinking of Jem and the similar words he spoke so long ago.

"Tessa," Clary said experimentally.

"Yes?" the warlock replied, her eyes shining with a particular memory of herself and a certain Herondale. "Thank you, for everything you've done for me. Though I might disagree about the memory thing. If it weren't for the Shadowhunters, I would never have met Jace." she replied, thinking of the first time she met Jace.

"I see you have fallen for a Herondale, God knows they are good at that. But they do love fiercely and fall for one and one only." Tessa spoke softly, looking out to the bright sun by the window.

Clary didn't know what came over her. Perhaps it was the loneliness she felt. Perhaps the trusting memory of this woman. Perhaps it was the way she looked at Clary that made Clary do what she did next.

 **To repay for not having posted for a while, I will update this story as soon as I can, and I hope it to be tonight.**


	6. Chapter 6

**As promised, here is Chapter 6!**

 **I'm sorry for not having posted in quite a long time, I've been very busy: half a dozen exams, 3 oral presentations, 2 essays... etc. I've also read the Divergent series and The Fault In Our Stars in my free time and I'm learning to play the guitar XD. Sorry again, but I'll remind you I'm not stopping this story. I love writing FanFiction and it's just time I need. Anyways, here it is!**

 **Before, though, I'll clarify that Jace is still bond to Sebastian. Sooner or later you'll see why the bond was... dormant for a while. Also, when the Clave workers came for Sebastian's body, it was gone. He managed to get out with the demon part of him awoken by Simon's angel-demon blood. He is waiting for a good opportunity to abduct Jace and complete the ceremony. Also, Jace has had the protective ritual performed on him, but with the bond already halfway done, he isn't completely free of Sebastian. Lastly, I regret not having put Jace and Clary's reunion, I completely forgot. Thank you Jling for reminding me. But I guess Jace has to remain a little distant for the story to work.**

Previously in Chapter 5

"I see you have fallen for a Herondale, God knows they are good at that. But they do love fiercely and fall for one and one only." Tessa spoke softly, looking out to the bright sun by the window.

Clary didn't know what came over her. Perhaps it was the loneliness she felt. Perhaps the trusting memory of this woman. Perhaps it was the way she looked at Clary that made Clary do what she did next.

"Tessa, if I tell you something, can you swear not to tell anyone else?" Clary blurted out. Tessa turned her head back towards the redheaded girl, a look of curiosity and concern on her face. "I have known your ancestors, Charlotte and Henry Branwell. They were very dear to me. And so are you. If it is your wish for what you tell me to remain secret, than so shall it be." Tessa replied. Clary took a deep breath before speaking. Everything she said next flowed out.

She told Tessa about the angel, her rune and everything that happened at the Talto Church and the in between space.

The older woman listened with growing concern. When Clary was done, Tessa looked at her with wide eyes. "So the angel Ithuriel is keeping you alive because you are needed here? And he said that you'll only be alive until the Herondale bloodline is assured?" she asked incredulously. "Pretty much" Clary replied, showing her the golden rune on her arm. "This is the rune my brother drew. Have you ever seen it before?" she asked Tessa.

As expected, the warlock had never seen anything like it. "Clarissa, I have much to thank you for. You have saved the Herondale bloodline, you have sacrificed so much." Tessa said, eyes shining. "It seems like a cruel irony that you should leave us that way. But I don't believe it shall be soon. Have you told anyone about it?" she added.

"Only you. But there's more. Four days ago, Ithuriel showed me a vision. That very evening I wanted to tell Jace about it, but I changed my mind. In the vision, Ithuriel told me that there was no way for anyone to help me. He said that if anyone does try to, it would be like a signal turned on and a demon magnet. He said it would be way too dangerous to try. I just... I feel so frustrated. I don't know what to do, Tessa." Clary whispered, tears running down her cheeks.

In an automatic maternal gesture, Tessa leaned her head on top of Clary's and held her hands. The girl was so small, yet so strong. She reminded her so much of Charlotte. Clary leaned in and shook all over. "Hush, child. Do not dwell on it. Focus on the present, take one step at a time. It'll all be okay." Tessa said softly, squeezing the young girl's hands. "You're not alone. I'm glad you talked to me about it." she added.

"My audience with the Clave is next week. I will have to use the Mortal Sword, won't I? I'm afraid that it'll force me to tell everything. And Jace and my family will be there. I don't want them to find out about it that way, but I don't want to burden them by telling them myself." Clary said. "What am I supposed to do?" she asked.

Clary winced as she got up and slowly started pacing.

"I understand how you must feel. But you must do what you feel is right. Let your heart guide you. I am sorry I can't be of more help. But I assure you, you can trust me. If you ever need someone to talk to." Tessa told Clary. The buzzer rang, and it startled both girls. "I hope to see you soon, Clary. If you need anything, just ask Magnus. He'll know how to contact me." the older woman said. At Clary's puzzled look, she added: "I work at the Spiral Labyrinth, among other warlocks."

After a hug, Tessa opened the door and froze. Clary came to see who it was and smiled. Jace was standing on the doorway, his endearingly ruffled golden hair glowing in the sunset. At the sight of Tessa, he grinned mischievously. "Magnus didn't tell me he invited girl friends over" he smirked. "Herondales," Tessa said, smiling. "You remind me so much of Will." she added.

"Who's Will?" Jace asked Tessa, playfully suspicious. "Another story for another time, Jonathan. See you soon, Clary." said Tessa as she left.

As soon as the door closed, Jace rushed towards Clary and held her tightly. She gasped in surprise and winced a little. Jace, his golden eyes noticing the movement, immediately let go of her. She was expecting that. What she didn't expect was Jace lifting her into his arms and carrying her into the spare room she was staying in. He laid her unto the bed and went to shut the door. When he came back, his eyes were shining. He sat on the edge of the bed, simply looking at Clary. His voice was soft when he spoke to her. "I know we haven't had a proper... reconciliation. I just want you to know that I'm sorry-" he said, looking into her green eyes. "Jace," she interrupted, "you don't need to be sorry for anything. I've told you already. I have faith in you. I trust you and I love you." The edges of his mouth quirked up. "Yes, but it's different. I thought... I thought you... I thought I'd lost you. And I didn't stay with you. I couldn't accept it. And I'm sorry for that." he said, bowing his head down. Clary moved and sat so she could be facing him. She lifted his chin with her hand and placed a hand behind his neck, her fingers playing with his golden curls. She smiled as he responded to her touch, as he gently put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer. She looked up, and he leaned down. Soon enough, their lips met and the rest of the world seemed to slip away. All there was left was her and Jace, Jace and her. Their kiss was slow and passionate and drove maddening sparks through Clary. Nothing changed. Jace tasted like apples, and it reminded her of their first kiss at the Institute's greenhouse. He put his hands in her hair, the way he always loved to. Their lips parted, and Clary gasped. Jace lied down onto the bed and his strong arms brought Clary down with him. She was lying on top of him, and could feel the rapid pulse of his heart. Her own heart was hammering. Jace planted kisses at her jawline, then down her neck. Clary put her hands on his chest and felt the hard muscle beneath Jace's white cotton shirt. Clary lifted his chin slightly, so their lips were at the same level. She noticed his beautiful golden eyes were nearly black with desire. Which made her want to kiss him even more. And so it was what she did. They kissed and kissed until the sun started to set. Jace left a while later, and Jocelyn and Luke had come not too long after. Jocelyn came to Clary's room as soon as she could.

"Clary, baby, how are you?" Jocelyn asked, the smile on her lips not reaching her eyes. She was clearly still concerned. "I'm fine mom, I just need some rest." she replied, trying to reassure her mother. Her mom eyed her for a moment, and sat down next to her. "I just want you to know that you can tell me anything. Almost losing you, it felt like hell. I love you, Clary. Luke loves you. We all do. Just please be more careful. I know I can't control you, and protect you all the time. But my heart wouldn't take it, to lose you." Jocelyn said, while her fingers played with Clary's curls. Clary felt a pang of guilt when she heard her mother's words and thought of the purpose of her being alive. But she couldn't bring herself to tell anybody else after Tessa. Wasn't ready nor willing to do it. She could just hope that nobody would find out during the Clave meeting.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm back! Welcome, if there's anyone left interested in this fanfic. I'm really sorry, I've had absolutely no time to write these past months. Anyways, I'm determined to wrap up this fanfic soon, before the release of The Dark Artifices #2, Lord of Shadows. My theory on (SPOILER ALERT)**

 **why Clary was reluctant to answer when Jace proposed to her is perfect with what happens later in this fanfic. Thank you for your time and patience, here's chapter 7! Please review, it's been a while and I'd like to know if my writing's changed.**

Previously in Chapter 6

Clary felt a pang of guilt when she heard her mother's words and thought of the purpose of her being alive. But she couldn't bring herself to tell anybody else after Tessa. Wasn't ready nor willing to do it. She could just hope that nobody would find out during the Clave meeting.

"Hey, Luke. Could I ask you something?" said Simon, early in the morning on the phone with Luke. Simon was nervous about Clary, and didn't know what to make of the Clave's meeting. A message was sent earlier at Magnus', warning that the Mortal Sword would be used during the interrogation. He knew what the sword was, but he still wanted to know more.

"It's about the meeting, isn't it?" Luke replied. "Don't worry, nothing should go wrong. But I still don't like it, the fact that they'll use the Mortal Sword."

"That's the point. Isn't there any other way to do this interrogation? Wouldn't it hurt Clary?" said Simon, pacing around in the Accords Hall. He came there early and planned to meet Clary and the others here. He would be present during the meeting, along with Jordan, Maia, Isabelle, Alec, Jace and the others. They wouldn't be interrogated, though. The meeting was really about Clary's survival. Everyone was perplexed, the whip Lilith used was examined and contained a powerful poison that even a demon itself would die from. Even the Silent Brothers had no answers, which heightened suspicions about the actual power Clary has with runes.

"I'm afraid not, Simon. Don't worry. We'll all be there. We're on our way, actually." said Luke.

"What is your name?" asked the Consul, Jia Penhallow.

"My name is Clarissa Fairchild, daughter of Jocelyn Fairchild and Valentine Morgenstern." replied Clary, holding the Mortal Swords with shaking hands. The effect the sword had on her was painful, the truth being pulled out of her almost automatically. It's not like she would lie. It's that she wasn't determined on letting others know about what happened to her after she died. About the angel Ithuriel.

"Clarissa, can you tell us what happened after Lilith presented herself in the Talto Church? It is known by the Clave that in the events of that evening, Lilith tortured you with a whip containing a deadly poison. Many of us are perplexed as to how you survived, as well as considering the possibility that your part of angel blood has a connection with your survival."

"It isn't my blood." Clary replied with a wince. She bit on her tongue to refrain herself from revealing to much. Surprisingly, she didn't really need to. Something within her was guiding her speech, making her say the right things. "Magnus Bane showed up at the Church to tend to my wounds. His powers are known to be powerful, they assured my survival. Perhaps my part of angel blood helped in the process of healing, but I don't think it was the main factor of my survival." she added.

The golden rune marked on her arm was glowing brighter than usual, but no one seemed to notice its existence. Clary suspected that Ithuriel was guiding her words, keeping her from revealing too much. Clary looked up at Magnus, who was sitting with the others, and he winked at her. She also saw Jace, who was surprisingly pale, whispering to Simon. Jocelyn looked agitated and kept glancing nervously at Clary.

"I understand. Somehow, though, it seems that you have not been alive for a short period of time before Magnus' arrival. Are you aware of that?" asked the Consul.

"I am aware. I simply cannot offer any explanation. I'm inclined to believe that, in those moments of distress, perhaps I was still alive and my breathing simply stopped for a few seconds, but the situation made it seem like it was longer. I myself can't really remember what happened at the time." Clary replied, with a serious tone to her voice.

The questions kept coming, one after the other, and it was only when Clary fell to her knees out of exhaustion and Jace had an infuriated outbreak that the members of the Council decided to end the matter. It was decided that the credits went to Magnus for saving Clary's life.

The following week flew by, Clary's nights filled with visions of falling angels that she couldn't understand. It was only when Jace disappeared a few days later that she understood the meaning of it all. Chaos was coming. And somehow Sebastian was involved.

 **Mouahahahah. That's the end of the Mortal Instruments: City Fallen Angels fanfic. Now, just remember (and read if you haven't read them yet) the rest of the books in the Mortal Instruments series, visualizing the plot as it was written while keeping in mind Clary's 'curse'. The rest of this fanfic will take place in the time of Lady Midnight (The Dark Artifices #1). I'm sorry if it seems sudden and too fast, but keep in mind that this is a fanfic, even though I'd love to invent a new ending to Sebastian's story.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Welcome, welcome! I've come to realize a big error on my part, I was expecting to book's release (Lord of Shadows, The Dark Artifices #2) to be on May 27th, but it's May 23rd (aka tomorrow!). So without further ado, I will be starting chapter 8 and going along till the story ends without interruption. This fan fiction has brought me a great time of fun to write, but now I think is the time to end it properly. I'm sorry if any part of this whole fanfic has not pleased you, whether the boring beginning or the quick end. I'll try my best. Now, here's chapter 8:**

It was very crowded at Isabelle's party, though Clary was delighted by Simon's proposal to Izzy. They so clearly loved each other, and Clary herself could feel it, through Simon's parabatai bond with her, that they were happy together. It had been years  
since Jace and Clary moved into the Institute, as Maryse stepped down and they became one of the youngest head of the Institute. Clary enjoyed leading with Jace, contributing to the place where everything started.

That day Simon came to announce them his proposal to Isabelle, she felt so happy for them. It was only recently that she realized something important. What would happen if Jace proposed to her?

In all these years, what happened with the angel Ithuriel had been kept a secret, but never truly forgotten. Sometimes, though it was quite rare, Clary would wake up at night with the vivid memory of their conversation near the Fairchild house at Idris.  
Ithuriel, Clary thought, was probably sending those messages as reminders to what happened and what had yet to come.

Shaking off of her reverie, Clary decided to get out for some fresh air. The party was being held in the Institute's music room, and it wasn't hard to get out unnoticed thanks to the massive crowd. Before leaving, however, a hand came on her shoulder  
and she turned to see someone she hadn't expected to see. Tessa Gray.

It had been months since she had last seen Tessa, since she was so busy with the former Silent Brother Zachariah, now known better as Jem. Clary suspected they had a special relationship that dated back from quite a while, and her suspicions were admitted  
to be true when Clary once asked Tessa about it. They had been in the Herondale manor in Idris, and both Jace and her had had a tour of the place thanks to Tessa. The warlock had told the pair the story of her life at the London Institute, her marriage  
with William Herondale and her very close friendship with Jem as well as with the Lightwoods, the Blackthorns and the Fairchilds. Later on Tessa would come to visit the Institute a few times yearly, but she had seemed very busy lately. When Clary  
asked her about it, they said it was a very secretive mission she and Jem had, one they owed to the Herondales.

"Tessa! What a surprise!" Clary grinned, hugging the older woman.

"Well, I definitely had to come. I'm so glad to see the Alexander and Isabelle. They've grown so much, and Simon's proposal was beautiful. The Lightwoods have changed so much." Tessa said, her eyes shining bright. "Besides, I thought I'd stop by to see  
Jace and you. I talked to him earlier, it's nice to see things going well here at the Institute. How are you?" she added with a smile.

Clary smiled back and replied. "I'm great. I'm just so happy for Simon and Izzy. They belong together. It's just, I'm worried." she added, lowering her gaze.

Tessa seemed to have understood exactly what Clary meant.

"Come, let's talk outside. I've got something to tell you."

The air outside was cool and breezy, and the streets were busy as usual. Looking up at the Institute, Clary remembered the day she first entered the building. Her apartment had been ransacked, her mother, unconscious, kidnapped by Valentine's men. A Ravener  
had attacked her, and Jace had saved her and brought her to the Institute for the very first time. It seemed like such a long time ago, and Clary felt especially nostalgic tonight. They had grown up so much.

Sitting on the front steps, Clary leaned her head on Tessa's shoulder.

"I know what you're thinking about, Clary. But I want you to know that perhaps Ithuriel is just protecting you. Live your life freely, don't worry so much. You have a future with Jace, it's certain." Tessa said gently. "I must leave, but know that I'm  
always here for you. Perhaps sharing this secret would relieve your burden. It's all up to you. Good luck, Clary." she added.

"I wish things were simple. I wish I could create a rune or something. I don't want to hurt anyone. I wish so many things, but this stupid curse prevents everything." Clary added, her frustration clear and visible.

"Things are not always what they seem. Ithuriel said that you would stay until the Herondale bloodline is assured. I believe it to be in a long time. Have hope, Clary." Tessa replied.

A few hours later, having returned to the party, Clary spent some time alone with Jace. And that's when what she dreaded happened.


	9. Chapter 9

**I know I said without interruption, but I just thought I ought to mention that a part of Lady Midnight (The Dark Artifices #1) by Cassandra Clare will be here as well as a snippet from Lord of Shadows (The Dark Artifices #2). Like before, they will be written in italic.**

Previously in Chapter 8

"Things are not always what they seem. Ithuriel said that you would stay until the Herondale and Fairchild bloodline is assured. I believe it to be in a long time. Have hope, Clary." Tessa replied.

A few hours later, having returned to the party, Clary spent some time alone with Jace after the slideshow of pictures of Simon and Izzy. And that's when what she dreaded happened.

 _The sounds of laughter and music from outside were blurring; she could hear Jace's quick breathing, remembered the boy he had been, in the grass with her in front of the Wayland Manor in Idris, when they had kissed and kissed and she had realized that love could cut you like the edge of a blade. She could feel his pulse. His hand slid up, caressed the strap of her dress. His lowered eyes glittered in the dark. "'Green to mend our broken hearts,'" he quoted. It was part of Nephilim children's rhyme, one Clary knew well. His eyelashes brushed her cheek; his voice was warm in her ear. "You mended my heart," he whispered. "You picked up the pieces of a broken, angry boy and you made him into a happy man, Clary."_

 _"No," she said in a shaking voice. "You did that- I just cheered you on from the sidelines."_

 _"I wouldn't be here without you," he said, soft as music against her lips. "Not just you- Alec, Isabelle, even Simon- but you're my heart."_

 _"And you're mine," she said. "You know that." He raised his eyes to her. His were stark gold, hard and beautiful. She loved him so much her rib cage hurt when she breathed. "So will you?" he said._

 _"Will I what?" "Marry me," he said. "Marry me, Clary." The ground seemed to sweep out from under her. She hesitated, only for a second, but it felt like an eon; she could have sworn a fist was squeezing her heart. She saw the beginning of puzzlement cross his face, and then there was an explosion and the door of the room blew open in a shower of splinters. Magnus strode in, looking hectic, his black hair sticking up and his clothes rumpled._

After Magnus' quick explanation of what happened, Robert, Magnus, Jace and her left for Los Angeles through the portal. Clary felt a growing apprehension in her chest, both to what was going on in Los Angeles and Emma and the Blackthorns' safety, as well  
as the answer she would have to give to Jace when the matter was resolved.

Three weeks later, and Clary still didn't get the chance to answer to Jace's proposal. The couple had been very busy with helping the Blackthorns and Emma at the Los Angeles Institute as well as leading their own Institute in New York. Magnus was by their  
side too, looking into Malcom Fade's case. Everyone was shocked, in the Downworld, to hear about what he had done. Magnus had been especially shook, having been Malcom's trusting friend. The Clave was going nuts about what happened, and the Blackthorns  
were questioned several times. None of them had seen this coming. Then there was also Kit, who turned out to be a certain Christopher Herondale. Jace was profoundly shook to hear that he had a lost sibling, and he seemed particularly anxious to meet  
the latter. He was also pleased, and though he wouldn't quite admit it, excited to see Kit. He wanted to see him badly and talk to him. Tessa and Jem were also present, and the four of them, the three Herondales and the loyal Carstairs, had been spending  
a lot of time together. Clary was spending most of her time with Emma and the Blackthorns, seeing into what happened. It's not as if Jace and Clary didn't see each other at all, Clary thought, but perhaps it was better for them to invest their energy  
into the matter at hand. Jace was close as always, talking and mostly kissing Clary whenever he could. Each time he did so, Clary's heart seemed to expand, growing with her love for Jace. And every time she was alone, she would be a bit anxious about  
what Kit's arrival meant. Was he the assurance of the Herondale bloodline?

Today, however, was a day that Emma, the Blackthorns and both Herondales decided to take a break from working. The advantage of the ocean's proximity was the perfect opportunity to have a day out at the beach. Emma and Clary were the only ones who didn't  
go swimming. They stayed behind, laying down on a towel placed above the sand with a big beach umbrella blocking out the sun. They talked and talked, and they were having a good time until the subject of Simon's proposal to Isabelle came up.

"How does it feel like, with Simon marrying Isabelle?" Emma asked curiously, though there was something small underlaying it, like a darker tone. "I mean, he's your parabatai. Does it feel weird?" she added.

"No, mostly I feel great for them. They're so happy around each other, they deserve to be together. Besides, it's not like they're going anywhere. Simon is always going to be my parabatai, and it's great that Isabelle will kind of be my sister! We've  
been through so much, I guess this just makes us closer." Clary replied, her eyes sparkling.

"What about Jace? Do you think he'll propose to you?" Emma asked with a grin.

Clary looked away, but not before Emma caught her look of pain.

 _"Clary, what are you not telling me?"_

 _There was a long silence. Clary looked out toward the dark water, biting her lip. Finally, she spoke. "Jace asked me to marry him."_

 _"Oh!" Emma had already begun opening her arms to hug the other girl when she caught sight of Clary's expression. She froze. "What's wrong?"_

"Nothing. Everything. I can't explain it." she said. "I don't want to drag you into this problem. Don't mind me. It's fine." she added with a tentative smile.

"I don't believe you. This is more serious than you're letting on. Please, Clary. Tell me. You've done so much for me, it's my turn to help you." Emma said fiercely.

"Emma, do you swear on the Angel that you won't tell a soul?" Clary asked the younger girl.

"Yes. Of course, if that's what you want." she replied. "I swear on the Angel that I won't reveal to anyone what you're about to tell me." Emma added


	10. Little message

Okay so this will be replaced with chapter 10 as soon as I'm done writing it I just wanted to tell you guys PLEASE DONT SPOILLLL Lord Of Shadows cause some people (i.e.: me) don't have the chance to get it today or in the following week. My mom actually  
/wants me to wait till the end of June cause she thinks I don't have the time to read since I have full of exams coming up. Yay. Dx .Thank you! Have fun!


	11. Chapter 10

Previously in Chapter 9

"Emma, do you swear on the Angel that you won't tell a soul?" Clary asked the younger girl.

"Yes. Of course, if that's what you want." she replied. "I swear on the Angel that I won't reveal to anyone what you're about to tell me." Emma added.

The story came out in a tumble of words and tears, and when Clary finished talking, Emma was looking at her with wide teary eyes.

"This can't be happening yet, Clary. I'm sure Ithuriel meant it to be much later. The assurance of the Herondale bloodline? That could be when you have, like, great grandkids," Emma said. "It can't be Kit. It just can't." she added, with more certainty than she felt.

"I just can't bear keeping this from Jace, if we get married. It's hard enough already, without being married. I haven't told anyone but Tessa and you." Clary said, wiping her eyes fiercely with the back of her hands.

"Simon had his doubts, he had a feeling I was keeping something from him. I convinced him it was nothing. I can't look at my mom and Luke without thinking about how I might hurt them. I can't imagine leaving them all- Isabelle, Alec, all of them- and leaving Jace. I can't do it to them." she said, her voice cracking.

Emma moved closer to Clary and hugged the older girl fiercely. As Clary had been there for her in her times of grief and pain, Emma was adamant to being there for Clary now.

"The important thing is that you live every moment to its fullest. I still don't believe Ithuriel will be taking you away from us soon." Emma said, her eyes hard.

"The angel might not have a choice. I died, I wasn't meant to stay here. Keeping my life within his grasp can't last, not without the demons or whatever existing out there finding out. Ithuriel might have no choice but to release me." Clary said.

"Enough about this. Let's focus on the matter at hand." she added with a tone of finality.

Jace, having noticed the two girls talking and Clary's sudden crying, had watched them from where he stood, nearly waist deep in the warm beach water. He had wanted to rush to Clary and comfort her, put his arms around her and protect her from whatever was hurting her inside, but something had stopped him. Perhaps it was the stricken look on her face, perhaps it was Emma comforting her. He didn't know for sure, but the feeling was strong. The feeling that something was wrong, something he couldn't stop.

 _One week later_

Jace and Clary were now temporary residents at the Los Angeles, and despite having a grand number of rooms empty, they decided to share one together. It was nearly sunset, and the Shadowhunters had spent the day investigating (when were they not?).

Clary was sitting cross legged on the bed, texting Isabelle to see if everything was going well in New York. Simon and her had decided to lead the Institute at their stead for as long as it took for the situation to be resolved. She thought about all the years ago, when she first met Jace and the Lightwoods at the Pandemonium club. It seemed like ages ago now, and they had changed so much and grown so close.

With a sigh she closed her eyes. As soon as she did, a multitude of colours bursted under her eyelids. Clary gasped, surprised, but kept her eyes shut all the same. A rune was slowly forming, blazing in gold. It was a rune she knew all too well, the rune Jonathan, her brother, had drawn on her arm. It was the rune chaining her life to Ithuriel, the rune keeping her alive. She opened her eyes and not a second later heard someone knocking on the door.

"Come on in, Jace. You didn't need to knock, you know that." Clary grinned.

The door opened, and Jace came in. He wore his trademark thin white short-sleeved shirt and a pair of dark shorts. His hair was endearingly ruffled, and Clary ushered him to come over. As he did, Clary pulled him closer. She was now laying flat on the bed with Jace by her side. She turned to look at him and put her hands through his hair. Jace closed his eyes and held Clary's hand tightly.

"Clary, I've been meaning to ask you something." Jace said softly, with his eyes still closed.

"What is it?" Clary asked, her voice wavering. Was he going to ask her about her answer to his proposal?

"Remember that night at Simon and Isabelle's engagement party? When.. when I asked you if you wanted to marry me" Jace said, opening his eyes and looking at Clary with eyes full of adoration, but with a hint of uncertainty and concern.

"I just.. I thought maybe I could ask you again, tonight. I was planning on doing it. But I remembered that day on the beach, when you spoke with Emma. Something doesn't seem okay. You were crying, Clary. What's wrong?" he added.

Clary took a deep breath, trying to decide whether she should tell him about Ithuriel. It had been so many years she kept this secret. If she was going to marry him (of course she wanted to, they were meant to be together!) Clary thought, she would have to tell him.

"Jace, I've been keeping something from you, from all of you, all these years. It's just, I was advised not to tell anyone, and I didn't want to hurt you." Clary said, the back of her eyes burning with tears and a lump forming in her throat.

"Clary, you know you can tell me anything. You know it. I love you more than anything I've ever loved." Jace said, a certain urgency in his tone.

"Do you remember," she said slowly, "all those years ago, when I brought you back after... after you were killed? You came back unprotected, and Lilith ended up possessing you. At the church, when she tried to revive Sebastian, and she ended up..." Clary said, pausing when she saw Jace's eyes darkening.

"And she ended up torturing you with that bloody whip?" Jace said, his voice pained.

"Y-yes. But, at one point, it seemed like I died. I kept repeating that you must've thought it, you know, in the panic of it all. I was lying, Jace. I died that night, and-" Clary said, interrupted by a sharp banging on the door.

They both jumped at that, and Jace turned his face away from Clary to hide his expression. He was both shocked, terrified and curious all at the same time. He was also angry at the interruption. The banging continued, more urgent this time. His anger changed to worry, and Clary came to his side. He opened the door and saw Julian and Emma. They were both dressed in their gear. Julian looked at Jace, and Emma glanced at Clary. Her eyes questioned her. Have you told him? Almost imperceptibly, Clary shook her head.

"Jace, Clary. There was an attack in an alley downtown. Demons, lots of them. They attacked a mundane, but the mundane fled. We're going to see what happened and eliminate the demons still there. We just thought you ought to know." Julian spoke quickly.

"We're coming then, of course. We leave in 5 minutes, gather everyone who's coming outside. Keep the kids inside." Jace said, squaring his shoulders.

"Make sure Livvy, Ty, Dru and Tavvy stay here. Mark and Cristina could come with us. Just don't forget to lock up the place, this might be a distraction to attack the Institute." Clary added.


	12. Chapter 11

**Welcome back! Yay, school is done and my finals are overrrrr!Anyways, here you go! By the by, I'm finding it real hard to kill Clary. Not because I don't have a good way of doing it, but because I'm no longer extremely willing to. At the beginning of the fanfic, I thought it would be a good idea to change the storyline and see what would happen if she died. I realized, throughout the months, that her death would be something horribly sad. Imagine how Jace would feel. How her friends and her parents would feel. How Simon would feel. But I'm not changing what I meant to write. I'm using this reluctancy to write with more emotions and the views of the other characters once it happens. Sorry, I just thought it was important to mention. Without further ado, here's chapter 11.**

Previously in Chapter 10

"Make sure Livvy, Ty, Dru and Tavvy stay here. Mark and Cristina could come with us. Just don't forget to lock up the place, this might be a distraction to attack the Institute." Clary added.

Five minutes later, Clary, Julian, Emma, Jace, Mark and Cristina had grouped around near the back of the Institute, all dressed in Shadowhunter gear. Julian gave details about the demon attack on the mundane and said they ought to split up when they arrived. He then asked if Clary knew the place.

"Yes, it's the alleyway right behind that restaurant, right? Jace and I went there a few weeks ago when we arrived here." she said, glancing at Jace. "I can make a portal there." she added with certainty, looking at the group.

Approaching the wall with her stele in hand, Clary thought about the first time she made a portal. It had been years ago, at the New York Institute, when she had been eager to get to Alicante to meet Ragnor Fell and save her mother. It had taken a lot of concentration, though with practice it was now fairly easy for her. Biting on her lip, Clary reached out and let her stele glide on the wall, thinking about the alleyway.

When she was done, she turned to see the shocked faces of Mark and Cristina as well as the amusement in Jace's eyes.

"Even after all these years," Jace said, "It still surprises me to see you able to make a portal. Every time."

"Same goes to you, Jace Lightwood. Seeing you jump from the Institute's roof still gives me heart attacks." Clary added, punching his arm lightly.

Before he could respond, Clary gestured for the rest to go first. As they went, she turned to Jace and kissed him lightly, just a brush on the lips. "Clary, you know what surprises me above everything else?" he said to her, looking down at her beautiful green eyes.

"That my love for you gets stronger every day. There's no limit to it. It's stronger than anything in this world. Every day I think, 'Maybe this is the limit. Maybe this is how much you can love a person.' Then I realize, when it comes to us, when it comes to you, there's no limit. There never will be."

Her eyes shining, Clary whispered in his ear. "You've always been so good with words. I love you so much, Jace. There's nothing I believe in more. Now come on, the others must be waiting."

When they arrived, Clary was shocked to see the mess left behind. There was blood splattered on the walls of the alleyway and on the floor. There was also around half a dozen demons present. As soon as they arrived, Jace had ordered Mark and Cristina to find the mundane while Julian, Emma, Clary and himself fought the demons.

Among the demons, Clary recognized two Raveners. They looked strange, however. They were twice as big as she remembered and looked stronger than most Raveners. Clary glanced around to see each of her partners fighting the other demons and she jumped into battle.

Clary swung her seraph blade expertly, meaning to decapitate the demon, but the moment she set her hand onto the handle of the holy weapon, the blade caught fire. It was no ordinary fire, either. It was blazing gold, and it reminded her of the heavenly fire of the sword she used so long ago to free Jace from Sebastian/Jonathan.

With a gasp she let go of the blade and ducked to avoid the incoming blow from the Ravener. It approached her slowly, hissing and growling. Clary aimed a kick at its head and heard a satisfying crunch. The second Ravener seemed to have disappeared, but more demons were coming in the alleyway. Jace glanced at her with wide eyes once he saw the discarded burning seraph blade. Suddenly, Clary had an idea.

Picking up the weapon, who was actually cool to the touch, Clary quickly marked the blade with a rune that meant to concentrate the heavenly fire in it. As soon as she finished the rune, though, her stele also inexplicably caught fire. She had no time to wonder about it.

"Stop, guys. Stop fighting them. I've got an idea." Clary said loudly to the group of shadowhunters. She caught their looks of bewilderment and decided to clarify. "Stop fighting the demons, I've got a way to destroy them all at once. Move farther back behind them." she added with certainty.

"By the Angel, Clary, are you nuts? We're not leaving you alone with these demons." Julian said, still fighting the demon.

Clary aimed the burning seraph blade towards the Ravener in front of her and threw the weapon as if she were throwing a dagger. It flew at the speed of lightning and exploded in the demon's chest, sending it straight back to where it came from. The blade then exploded into the sky, leaving many golden particles falling from the sky.

"What the hell-" Jace said, looking at Clary with wide eyes.

"-whatever blade I touch, it turns up and starts burning. I don't know what's happening, but it helps. Give me your weapons, now! Keep only your blades, pass me the daggers! It's the mundane we should worry about." Clary said. The others did as she asked though Jace refused to leave her side. With Emma and Julian's daggers, Clary now had enough weapons for each demon. With the speed of light, she threw each dagger to the demons and in a few seconds they were all gone. Clary was starting to feel dizzy, and she had to hold onto the wall to keep from falling.

"Clary, are you hurt?" Jace asked, running towards her. He took hold of her hand, and his eyes widened even more.

"What's wrong?" Clary asked, though she knew the answer already.

"Clary, you're burning up. What's happening? We need to get you to the Institute, you need to get help, Clary." he replied, trying to help her get up. She had slid down the wall and was looking quite feverish indeed. A second later, he sat down and Clary felt the cool touch of stele on her inner arm. Little did Jace know, as his stele slid on her skin and formed an iratze, that his rune was directly above the one placed by Jonathan, the rune that kept Clary bonded to this world. The golden rune shone even brighter, and Clary closed her eyes to keep from tearing up. Suddenly, she heard a gasp and found Jace fighting off the second Ravener. Having only a seraph blade at hand, he wielded it with experience and killed the demon in no time. That wasn't the reason he gasped, though. Right over his chest was a wound turning a dark shade of blue because of Ravener poison. Jace started to fall towards the ground, and Clary rushed to keep him from falling. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she lowered him to the ground as gently as she could. He kept his eyes open and looked at her.

"I guess it's just how it all started. A Ravener, me and you." Jace said, laughing slightly. "That should be the name of a song or something, shouldn't it? Sounds very romantic." he added, trying to make things seem less serious than they actually were.

"Shh... Jace," Clary said, reaching into his pocket and taking his stele. Despite her feeling that she was burning up and her dizziness, Clary managed to sit up and lay Jace on her lap. Slowly and with infinite gentleness, she traced an iratze near Jace's wound.


	13. Chapter 12

**Welcome back! Thanks for everything, btw. The favorites, the follows and the reviews, they mean a great deal so really, thanks! Sorry for the really really really long time it took to update, I've been reading a lot. I actually reread the entire Percy Jackson series including Heroes of Olympus and loads of FanFiction. Hopefully it'll improve my writing... Here's chapter 12, thank you once again for your patience. Feel free to review!**

Previously in Chapter 11

"Shh... Jace," Clary said, reaching into his pocket and taking his stele. Despite her feeling that she was burning up and her dizziness, Clary managed to sit up and lay Jace on her lap. Slowly and with infinite gentleness, she traced an iratze near Jace's  
wound.

After a few seconds, Clary realized the iratze was having no effect. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and fought back her tears. The stele she used was also burning up, but she ignored the fire. Taking a deep breath, Clary closed her eyes  
and concentrated on the one thing on her mind. Jace. With a trembling hand, she drew another iratze despite the stele's fire. She concentrated harder than ever, willing the rune to heal Jace and give him strength.

Finishing the rune, she let go of the stele and took Jace's hands and held them. _Wake up, Jace. Wake up._

style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"With a gasp his eyes flew open and he looked at her. Color had returned to his face and he looked better.

"How are you feeling, Jace?" Clary whispered, unable to look anywhere but into his eyes. He blinked around in confusion, then seemed to remember what had happened.

"I'm fine. Why is the stele burni- By the Angel, Clary, how did you heal me? What the hell happened?" he asked, bewildered.

She looked down, trying to formulate an answer. She heard Jace take a deep breath and he lifted her chin gently, his hand soft.

"Clary, are you okay? What's happening to you?" he asked, his voice cracking at the end.

"I... You were healed normally, Jace. I used an iratze. The stele- it caught fire. I don't know what's happening. Any weapon I touch catches fire. Heavenly fire." Clary answered softly.

The back of her eyes burned, threatening to spill tears. She rubbed at her eyes furiously and thought _: I know exactly what's happening. This is Ithuriel's sign. Something is going to happen._

Jace looked at her hesitantly, trying to understand what Clary was going through. Something was happening to her, he felt it. Suddenly making weapons flame up was not normal, even for a skilled Shadowhunter like Clary, even for someone who had an extra  
dose of angel blood in her veins.

He put his arms around her and held her tight. He could feel her heart beating madly against his chest and her arms felt feverish. He pulled away a bit to see her face.

He saw her close her eyes and a tear traced its way down her cheek.

He put his arms around her again, and they held each other kneeling on the ground for a few minutes.

Clary heard footsteps, as if people were running towards the pair. The footsteps slowed and she opened her eyes and pulled away from Jace. She looked up and saw the faces of Emma and Julian staring down at them. Jace got up and helped Clary to her feet.  
The iratze seemed to have healed him completely. As she got up, she staggered and almost fell over, though Jace was quick to steady her and look at her with concern. She was getting dizzy and her ears were ringing. He asked her if she was okay with  
his eyes, and she nodded.

"We found the mundane, he somehow got away with just a few cuts and bruises. We called the mundane ambulance so he could be treated for shock." Julian said to the group.

"Yeah, he said a pack of dogs chas-" Emma started and her eyes widened with fear. "What's happening to you, Clary?"

She spoke the exact same words as Jace, though her voice wavered a lot more. Clary's eyebrows knit in confusion.

Julian looked at her and did a double take. "Clary?" he asked, his voice an octave higher than usual.

Jace's eyes were as wide a saucers, and he took a step towards her. As soon as he did, though, he gasped. His arms were turning red, as though they were getting sunburned.

Clary's vision was fuzzy and had a certain gold tint to it. She looked down at herself and gasped. _She was glowing gold._

"Dios, ¿qué le está pasando?" Cristina cried in a quick Spanish. She and Mark had just arrived. They started forward, but soon their arms started getting red too. Clary took a step back quickly, trying not to fall over. She willed herself to stay conscious.

"We've got to get her to the Institute. We've got to contact the Silent Brothers." Emma cried.

Glancing at each and one of them, Clary realized what was going to happen. An angelic voice spoke into her head. She knew what she had to do.


	14. Chapter 13

**Welcome back! Huh, seems that even though I've had the whole summer free to do anything, I still don't find time to update this fanfic every week... It seems that I get stuck and run out of inspiration, so I guess the real reason I take so long is because I spend my time reading other books. Perhaps reading those actually make me write better, I realize that maybe my writing a year ago was not as developed.. Worry not, reading those books fueled my inspiration and without further ado, here's chapter 13.**

 **Disclaimer** **: What do I bother? No, I'm not Cassandra Clare nor would I have the brilliance to come up with this whole Shadowhunters' world.**

Previously in Chapter 12

Glancing at each and one of them, Clary realized what was going to happen. An angelic voice spoke into her head. She knew what she had to do.

 _"The fire of Heaven now runs through your veins, Shadowhunter. Once the fire consumes you, you will be released from the threat of darkness. The balance will remain, however, tipped. You know what must happen to set back the balance between dark and light, the balance of nature itself. I will no longer be able to intervene, for you have rightly served your purpose. Your services will not go unrecompensed. Ave atque vale, Clarissa Morgenstern."_

Ithuriel spoke into her mind. Clary shuddered, struggling to grasp the enormity of what she had just heard. Before she could react, she found herself in Jace's arms.

"Clary, what did he mean by you serving your purpose?" Jace urged her, his voice wavering. Looking at the four other Shadowhunters gathered a few feet away, he could tell that they hadn't heard a single word of what Ithuriel had said. The angel had spoken  
into Clary's mind, though Jace had been able to unconsciously eavesdrop. He guessed it was because of his extra dose of Ithuriel in his blood. What really bothered him, however, was what the words meant. The angel mentioned, at the very beginning,

that the heavenly fire would consume Clary. His Clary. And as much as he wanted it to mean otherwise, Jace knew that 'consume' meant death.

He was terrified at what that meant. He was also confused, because 'services'? Jace was no fool. He realized there was a connection between what Clary had wanted to tell him earlier in the day at the Institute.

Clary pulled away from Jace and noticed the fireproof rune freshly applied on his arm. She took a deep breath to steady herself and looked into his eyes. His were worried and scared, hers were unnaturally calm. She slowly got up on her toes and kissed  
his cheek. He leaned his head down and they kissed. His lips were soft as ever, and the kiss was gentle and loving.

All these years worrying about her fate and what would happen to her and when it would happen, she realized with a detached feeling that she was relieved it was finally happening. It was the way things were meant to be. She had died and came back. It  
was time for her to restore the balance. The fact that she would leave her friends and family, that she would leave Jace was tearing at her heart, though. Clary took a step back and reluctantly pulled away from his embrace.

"Jace, I love you. You know that already. But I want you to know that what you said to me, that if there was a life after you would love me then, I feel exactly the same about you." Clary said, her voice gentle as ever. "Nothing will ever change that.  
I loved you ever since I saw you that day in Pandemonium. I always will." She saw him stiffen with worry and confusion, and she stepped back further. Her whole body was tingling with heat and she started to feel light headed again.

"Clary, what are you-" Jace started, reaching out for her hand. Clary shook her head at him and saw his eyes flash with hurt and his worry lines around his mouth deepened. Seeing as the four other Shadowhunters watched them with immense confusion, Clary  
turned to Emma and Julian.

"Emma, it's time. I'm so sorry." she told the younger girl, and saw that her close friend's brown eyes were filled with tears. One of them traced its way down her cheek.

"No. No, no, no. This can't be happening yet, it can't." Emma said quickly, rushing to her close friend. Clary backed away and saw the flash of emotions cross the younger girl's eyes. Worry, confusion, hurt and realization.

"Clary, what's happening? Why are you saying these things? What the hell is happening?" Julian asked, bewildered.

Clary turned away from his gaze. She knew he was good at reading people's emotions.

She turned to Jace one last time. She willed her words and unspoken thoughts to be conveyed not by her lips but by her eyes. He seemed to understand the importance of what was going on. The desperation in his eyes tore at her heart.

She nodded at Mark and Cristina, not wanting to say anything else. She knew the moment she opened her mouth her tears would spill.

She found herself about 10 feet away from the group and her back hit a fence. She could feel the cold metal bumping into her back through the thin material of her gear. She looked down at her arms and saw them glowing a luminous gold. She noticed movement  
at the corner of her eye and stared as Jace walked towards her.

style="font-family: '.SFUIText-Italic'; font-style: italic; font-size: 17pt;"No, she thought. _He can't see this. Not him._

"Jace, stop, please."

"Not until you tell me what's happening." he replied.

For a moment, she looked into his eyes and pleaded silently that he understood. _Please, don't come nearer. It'll only make this harder. I love you._

She took a deep breath. Three. Two. One. She turned around, her back facing the group. She could hear Jace's hurried footsteps. She started climbing the fence, moving faster than she ever did in her life. A second later, she reached the top and let herself  
drop to the bottom on the other side. She looked at her hands and noticed lines across her palm where the metal bit into them while she climbed. They bled golden ichor.

 **Okay guys what do you think?Should I do a rewrite of the first few chapters? Not to change the story, but write it better. Please leave a review, they really help! Don't need to use a filter, say what ya got to say. Tell me what you like (if there is anything you like) and what you don't. Thanks! :3**


End file.
